its been awhile since i update my blog...
actually,
not in the mood to blog anymore...
lolx~
but still considering whether to continue or not >.<>
academic = T_T
sports = :|
money = T_T
friendship = >.@
health = :(

starting with
1) Academic
taking -> Design of Experiments (DOE)
-> Real Analysis (RA)
-> Partial Differential Equation (PDE)
-> Marketing (MK)
-> Creative and Critical Thinking Skills (CCTS)
-> English for Advance Communication (ENG)

*all i can say is,i don't have any confidence to score in either of those subjects...study like hell but still can't understand any of it... T_T i really need blessings from God... T_T ...lazy to talk more about it...whats past is past...let bygone be bygone...

2) Sports
Volleyball as usual...but only in colleges and inter-college matches...not to say that i'm lazy,but i really need that much time to focus on assignments that kept coming and coming...2 SSM,u know what i mean...things happened along the way...sweat and tears...but i don't mind that much because everything is for volleyball sake,for my volleyball friends,KTHO VC and UTMVC!!!! WAASAA!!!! ;) ...sold my Blocker and my old Mizuno knee pads to Mr Hussin aka Rabbit aka Billie Joe Armstrong aka Mr Billie Liu...i'm kinda miss though...but,better sell it rather than watch it cover with dust ^^"...loving my Black-White Mizuno Wave Tornado 4 and my Black T10 Mizuno Knee Pads so much!!!~ cant live without it!!! Ah~ don't forget about the V3s and the Phitens... ^^v

3) Money
This sem really wrecked...broke all the way...money used for assignments,practical i.e printing,additional fees...need to work twice as hard to get extras... T_T ...only 'R' knows how i feel... T_T

4) Friendship
lose some and gain some...its kinda trial for me...i'm a guy who is easily to get along with (*i think ^^")..but sad to say that i'm the only one who play the role of friends or bestfriend...i lose a few of bestties who i thought will stay together forever...but then,they've thought me that we need to look carefully for a true shining star among the bunch because they are the one who will stay with you forever and always be there for you when u need them(*but keep in mind,u need to the same for them ;) )...the experience and moments that i went through with my former bestties will be cherish for ever (: right now,God had sent me 'R'...i never thought 'R' will be a great friend because we only met in few tournies...but 'R' had proved his sincerity and honesty to me..and that makes him a real true bestfriend...happy to know that we are until now...'R' never let me down...same goes for me...hope we'll stay as bestfriend for eternity..praise to God(: ..'R' helped me pickup the pieces i left along the way...every morning he wakes me up and remind me about remembering God always...every night before 'R' sleeps,thanking each other for being the bestfriend is the great gift for me...THANK YOU 'R'!!!! you're the best budy!!! ;) for my life,it is still on...but let me just keep it to myself for awhile...i know all of u still remember love#1 and #2...now i'll add one more to the group which is #3 :P *jangan marah XD

5) Health
my health for this sem is the worst compare to previous semesters...high fever,migraine,bleeding,torn muscle,dislocated bones,heat stroke and even COMA!!!! OMG!!! what happened to me???!!!! been in and out of the hospital for i don't know how many times... = =lll need to recover during the hols...enough is enough!!! asthma2 go away!!! X(

hurm~
i think that's all for now...kinda tired actually torchering myself thinking about LI(practical)...i really need this semester break to detoxify myself!!!! argh!!!! ttyl...cheers!!!~ ^^v

the truth beneath "AIMAN"...

hurm~
the story is like this...(i make it short liao coz lazy to write so long..zzz...)
on this one particular september,
a lady was in labour and she's waiting for her baby to come out...
her husband was so irresponsible,
he left her for work eventhough the she's in pain...
during that time,
they don't have money to go to the hospital...
their life was a complete wreck!!!!
while her husband is busy at work,
she walk to the clinic by herself with only RM5...
the nurse said that she's ready for her baby but she needs to go to the hospital...
then,
she go to the general hospital(HSA) and waiting in a LONG,long queue...
when she was emitted,
the doctor just ignore her because she under low class section and wasn't that important to the doctors...
she was in serious pain during that time and her husband wasn't there to support her eventhough he knew...
she kept waiting and waiting...
suddenly,
a head nurse came...
the nurse was her ANSARA's mate...
the nurse rushed to get the doctor and change her emitted her from low class to first class treatment free of charge...
the doctor came and quickly standby for her delivery...
but then,
it still not time...
after awhile,
she went back home...
on the way back,
her husband kept babbling about wasting his time just to pick her up at the hospital...
and then,
she told her husband that she's a little hungry...
she asked him to get a "Fish & Chips" at Marrybrown because there's an offer during that time...
when she took her first bite out of it,
immediately,
the pain suddenly came back and she was rushed to the hospital...
luckily,
she arrive there just in time and everyone was ready for including her friend...
without having to worry about a thing,
she delivered a healthy baby boy...
she was happy on that time but start to worry about the bills etc...
out of the blue moon,
her friend told her that she don't have to worry about a thing...
everything was settle and she just need to relax and enjoy her life with her new born baby...
to think that the journey that started from HELL to HEAVEN,
with GOD's blessing + a lil LUCK,
she decided to name her baby "AIMAN" which mean "the LUCKY one"...
and now i realized why is the name was given to me...
eventhough i'm not that LUCKY now,
but back at that time,
it was a total LUCK ^^
about the Fish & Chips part,
i so do called myself only 50% MALAY,25% CHINESE and 25% ENGLISH (just for hating my DAD for his shitfull attitudes)...
GOD,
thank you for all of these...
hope i'll be LUCKY to get through everything ;)

p.s - the truthfulness about this story is yet to be discuss...it will be confirm soon after various of thorough research ;)

crushed dreams!!!

we can dream and keep on dream...
in my case,i dream n dream hard until i almost got it...
but then,
this BASTARD came and turn it into a NIGHTMARE!!!

these are the dreams that was crushed instantlu ->

-kinder,wanna take mandarin class,but then he changed it to MORAL because i'll be a "MELAYU MURTAD" if i start learn mandarin...
-primary 1,got number 2 in the whole school ranking,he didn't bother to come and see me taking the award...
-primary school,got the title of best prefect,best class monitor,best librarian for the entire school but he just ignored...
-daily life,try to ask him to do something that i like,he turned me down and spents with cousins playing SOCCER...
-the 1st time i knew VOLLEYBALL from the thai movie "IRON LADIES",he forbid me from playing volleyball because of it
-primary 6 -> form 1,he told me to apply for EC,but then i told him i wanna go to SSI. i got a letter from SSI and i was accepted to the school.he let me read the letter,take it back after i finish reading and throw it away.
-form 2,my tonsils are badly swollen and my trachea was almost block by it.he put me into a specialist so that they can remove.after the operation's finishs,he accused me of spending the rm3000 that he wanna use to buy a laptop for my surgery...
-form 3 -> form 4,i wanna continue in science stream but urged me to go into "sek teknik" and take agro science. i won't go and he ain't talk to me...
-form 5,begging for tuition because i'm a darn NOOB.he won't a single cent and i have to work my ass out for the fees(RM250/month)...
-MMC,damn!!! that's the most wreckoning year with him..he forced my room-mate to spy on me everyday without me knowing it.at the end,my friend went crazy because he can't stand he kept calling him everyday!!!
-MMC ->varsity,got my upu result and was accepted into UTM for my degree.when i told both my parents,they said it is one of the worst course there is with NO FUTURE eventhough my mom is in UTM!!!
-varsity,hr forced me to change to CHEMICAL ENGINEERING because he wants CLASS when his friends ask him about me.i won't change and he's bloody furious about it X(
-varsity,play volleyball for UTM team.but then,he make it worst.to many to lists here(sorry about that...)
-and the list continues...

when you're born as a BASTARD,you'll stay as one for ETERNITY!!!!

why do u have to ruin everything???
whether i ask for something or just shut my pie hole,
u still do the thing that u always do which is become a "damn bloody BASTARD!!!!"

u always FUCK me up and ruin everything!!!
everyday u always make me starve to death!!!
u don't the things that i do and the things i don't...
u can't remember or don't know about me at all!!!
u don't give a SHIT about me!!!
u merely talk to me about anything since i was born..
eventhough we had tons of time together(just the 2 of us),u won't say a single SHIT and ignore me all the way!!!
when it comes to ur fav GWENDY DOLL,
u talk as if u'r out of breath!!!
u really enjoy look at me being miserable and all!!!
DaMN u!!!!

i'm da most unluckiest person ever that have to call u DAD!!!!!!

call from the heaven's above... o:)

it happened on the 19th of june...
me and the social service peeps went to GELANG PATAH to help some old folks with their wrecked house etc...
eventhough they aren't in a goof condition,
they still cooked dinner for us and it was delicious.. :)
couples of minutes before dinner time,
suddenly there was no light...
the whole house went dark...
we can't see a thing because it was so dark...
the old lady n her children went cranking in the kitchen to look for candles...
at the same time,
me and the others have to perform our prayers in the dark(eventhough i still don't trust HIM)...
then,
all of us have our "candle light dinner" with our pretending happy faces eventough we aren't happy for them T_T
my phone suddenly rang...
thought of going to skip it,
but then when i see the id,
HE called...i ran out of the house and start babbling like a totally different person...
miss him loadz because he's the one who raise me up throughout the whole year when i'm in malacca where i start knew life...
told him about my result...
told him about my problems...
suddenly i cant hear a thing...
the silence kept going about 10secs and then he starts...
he was furious at first... v.v
but then,
he calms down and said, "don't worry.just ignore then whether they score higher than u.the only thing that matters is u.just relax and try look back and trace where do u did wrong.soon everything will be fine.i'm sure u can score,".
everytime he calls,
the same quote came out from the phone's speaker...
we kept talking for quite sometime...
and then,
he made me realize about i'm letting HIM(God) down...
after that,
i felt a presence that i've used to feel before this...
and that's where i realise that HE never let me down...
and now,
i'm back again on track...
track where people go through to endup fly with the angels in HEAVEN ^^

thanks alot SIR for bringing me up...i felt so hard and now,i'm back again...i owe u my life...thanks again SIR :)

i cant stop that feeling... T_T

coursemates kept text and called me just to know my gpa...

i have the guts now to tell them(eventhough i wrote in my blog already...haiz...)

the bad thing about it that i really hate is this ->

people: "AIEMAN,how's your result?"

me: "so bad. i didn't even get Dean List"

people: "you're lying.tell me la how much you got?"

me: "i only get 3.31 only..."(in a sad way) T_T

people: "har!!!! how come can be like that???!!! i got 3.96 and the others all 1st class!!!"

me: "i know..."

people: "u study like hell still get bad result??!!! blah2..etc..."

see...it's not worth telling at all...my dignity turn into dusts with a blink of an eye...i can't show my face anymore...can't stand the pressure!!!

GOD!!!

why do u did this to me???!!!

i didnt do anything wrong...

i dont deserve any of these things...

what do U expect me to do??

just accept it and smile all the way???!!!!

DAMN!!!!

eventhough it cant be rectified,

it's consider cruel U know!!!! T_T

U really let me down... T_T

i dont know what to say to U anymore...

T_T........

現実は裏切るもので判断さえ!!!

hurmm...
it's kinda simple actually...
i'm come to my senses already...
who's god and who am i...
HE control everything and i'm just a humble servant trying to get trough life...
without effort,
HE won't give us any rewards...
my result is a wreck...
don't care about it anymore because it's destined to be like that and i have to accept it...
like it or not,
it happened already and no one can change it...
i don't care anymore about graduating 1st class etc...
i just wanna get through this and hope for the best...
not planning to become a STATISTICIAN actually because i'm suck in STATISTICS...
i realize that my passion is on air,
in a commercial flight going around the world...
the route to get there is so damn hard nowadays...
so,
have to be prepared and pray loads to HIM because only HE can help me...

i'm so mad actually at this particular person whom i called DAD...
because of his fucking attitude and his noobishness,
i realized,that's why i don't celebrate FATHER's DAY...
serve him right...
sometimes,
i really wish i have a great dad whom i can look up to...
i've suffered so many years because of him...
only GOD,lecs n my friends know about it...
PLEASE GOD...
PLEASE MAKE HIM REALIZE THAT HE'S SUCH A FUCKING MORON!!!
i can't stand it anymore...
AMIN...

GOD had shown me the light that i've asked for...
but i'm to afraid to go back to HIM because he'll sure be furious...
i'll come back one day...
soon...
and hope everything will come out fine... ^^